omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
