yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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