He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
