How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
