tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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