I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
