It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
