Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
