wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate