Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
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Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
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Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am available for nakedness
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me