Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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