Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
