You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
