In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize