I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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