how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
