i would punch a child for taco bell
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
