Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
