So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
