In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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