Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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