I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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