is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
