So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
