Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
