is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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