He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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