You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
