She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
