apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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