hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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