Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
