Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
