My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
