I want to stick my p in your. b.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
