I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
