god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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