We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
