So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
