yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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