thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
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Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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