Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
what is it with giant penises always finding me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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