Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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