why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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