I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
