Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
