Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There r osticjed everywhere
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
