I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
