you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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