you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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