i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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