Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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