Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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