If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
This baby is an asshole
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
