I cockslap morals
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
